Ode to a misunderstood appliance

Why, why, why? Why are you cursed to always be full, whether clean or empty?  Why does no one ever seem to alleviate the groaning pressure that is inside of you?  You have done your duty, done all that we could ask, but why can no one find the time to help you?  Is this why you leak occasionally on the left side, spilling onto the cool tile?  We have always thought it was because you were overloaded on that side, but is this is a form of subtle protest?  Is this why there are some instances when you don’t clean everything as thoroughly as possible?  Stains left, water residue, throwing back in our faces what we have wasted, what we have rejected by leaving all that spaghetti sauce on the plates?  What life lessons can be learned from you?  Please don’t tell me these food stains are signs of aging, of slipping, a need to be replaced, are they? 

            I know what I have done to help, and I can only say I’ve done my best.  When dishes are left in the sink, I make sure they are stacked neatly and efficiently inside you.  Clean kitchenware come out, and dirty plates, utensils and cups go in.  I try and wash off the half inch of syrup left on today’s breakfast plates, or the quarter pound of peanut butter left on a knife from some careless person’s sandwich experiment to make your life easier.  Who is the one that replaced the two missing wheels on your bottom tray?  I didn’t jury rig anything either, I contacted your manufacturer and got the exact replacements, so now your tray slides easily and quietly, no loud crashing of plates or grunt of effort from heaving several damns days worth of dishes out of your maw. 

            You are a misunderstood appliance, but I just want you to know that I appreciate you.  Most people don’t miss you until you are gone, only the frustration of hand washing and the curse of prune-hands will cause them to remember you.  I know it’s not fair but I’ll do everything in my power to get people to remember you, starting with my own household.  They will come to know that you need help to fulfill your purpose in life, that the dirty dish fairy doesn’t empty the kitchen sink or put clean glasses back in the cabinet.  I know it can be scary and intimidating to learn new things, but with a little practice, everyone will be able to make sure you are properly emptied or loaded, and you can rest easy knowing that your mission in this life, your purpose for existence is fulfilled.