Pat Mclain Dinner

Steam gently rose from the stainless steel pot that simmered on the stove. The mist bounced off the ceiling and dispersed to the crown molding which condensed the tiny steam molecules back into little dew droplets. Mary lifted off the steaming pot cover to see if the potatoes were cooked through enough to mash.

 

 

” Hey Mom.” A small petite woman with snug form fitted clothes exclaimed from the den. ” Don’t forget to put the tofu soufflé in the oven. I think Pat might take a liking to it.”

 

Mary took the small dish off the counter and placed it in the oven under the turkey that was roasting on the middle rack. She knew very well that Pat would have no interest in any food that wasn’t coated in sugar or slathered in butter. Mary stood there contemplating whether or not to coat the turkey like a honey baked ham.

 

Mary was a frail slender woman of about seventy-four years. Her skin hung loose from her muscles and her crow’s feet resembled the salt plains, deep grooves ran along the corners of her eyes. Her face, however, was gentle and calm. You could look into her eyes and see her life was filled with immense joy and laughter. Mary finished up her preparation and walked into the den.

 

“Hey, Ma, when is Pat getting here? My stomach is gurgling.” Said Lewis a thick stout man with a graying ponytail that ran down the length of his back.

 

” On the phone he said thirty minutes. So hopefully around 5:30.” Mary answered.

 

“Yea right? He says thirty minutes but he probably means 45-50. He probably stopped at Burger Prince on the way here.” Cynthia’s lips and nose wrinkled as she said this out of disgust. ” Ever since Granddad passed he has been so coy. I haven’t seen him since last thanksgiving.”

 

Mary and Lewis quickly changed the subject. Cynthia and Pat were inseparable as children. They were only a year apart and had many of the same interests. But as they grew older Pat began to change and seclude himself. The conversation from that point on became rather dull. There was talk about jobs, schedules, and a bit about the weather.

 

After about fifteen minutes of conversation Mary hopped up from the chair. ” Cynthia, could you set the table while I finish in the kitchen? “

 

” Why me? Why not Lewis?” Cynthia whined as she stuck her lower lip out as if she was a pouting puppy.

 

 

 

” Because I asked you.” Mary said as she turned and walked back into the kitchen.

 

Cynthia followed Mary into the kitchen and walked over to the cabinet above the microwave in the farthest most corner. She counted out four white porcelain plates with a perforated edge that spanned the whole circumference. Cynthia pulled the draw directly under that counter in the same corner and pulled out 4 knives and 4 forks. She proceeded to jumble both sets of silverware in her hands until she carefully dropped them to the table.

 

The table was covered with a pale red tablecloth. In the corner of the dining room stood a large china cabinet with two glass doors. Cynthia peered through the glass and saw a cross on the upper most shelf. It was glaring on to the table in an almost eerie manner. Cynthia continued to place the plates on the table so that one setting was at the head of the table, to the left were two settings and on the right was one setting. As Cynthia lied the last plate down she noticed a large black Astrovan with a silver pinstripe wrapped around it rolled up. It was Patrick. She noticed that he was smoking which was unusual. He threw the cigarette out the window and opened the door.

 

 

 

“Mom, Pat’s here.” She exclaimed.

 

” Good Because I am about to put out dinner.” Mom retorted.

 

Cynthia ran to the door and grabbed the gold doorknob. She could feel it vibrate in her hand. Thud after thud could be heard as what sounded to be an elephant pounded the flagstones that led up to the house. She quickly opened the door and standing there was the large outline of a man. He was six-foot seven and he must weigh nearly 900 pounds. It was a miracle that he could even walk. He was wearing gigantic zuba sweat pants that contained his gelatin filled legs. His belly spilled out from under his shirt looking like a fatty hip bag. Patrick had a large beard much like Abraham Lincoln which had crumbs still crusted throughout. He resembled a circus freak rather then the brother she had grown up with.

 

Mary entered the room carrying a large turkey that she placed in the center of the pale red table cover. ” Come on guys. Sit. Dinners ready.”

 

Cynthia swiftly walked over taking her seat next to Lewis and next to Mary. Patrick, however, took a moment to take his seat. He looked in deep concentration as if he were walking on a tight rope. Each step took deep concentration in order to stop his weight from shifting. A simple weight shift would send him to the ground. It was awkward for Mary, Lewis, and Cynthia to see their baby brother and son struggle so much.

 

Pat finally took his seat opposite Cynthia and Lewis, and he was to the right of his mother. “Hey all, sorry for being a bit late. I was running some errands and lost track of time.” Patrick said as he was catching his breath. His heart was pounding in his chest so hard that it almost popped out of his chest onto the turkey.

 

They all started to fill their plates. Cynthia had some Tofu Soufflé piled on since she didn’t eat turkey. Lewis had some mashed potatoes, corn, Turkey, and a smidge of Tofu Soufflé so that he didn’t get yelled at. Mary took a little bit of everything; her appetite was small and she never liked too much of anything. Patrick took a heaping plateful of nearly everything, except Tofu Soufflé.

 

Cynthia stared at Patrick’s plate. ” You’re not going to have any Tofu Soufflé?” she inquired disappointed. ” I mean at least try it. You might like it you know?”

 

Patrick sniggered. ” Cynthia, Bean Sprouts are for the birds.”

 

Cynthia’s contrived smile turned upside down so that the edges of her mouth pointed towards the ground. ” You Know what, Patrick. Maybe if you ate some of it you could walk more than five steps. If you ate the bean curds and tried a little exercise with me, you wouldn’t be so large. You could stop by my yoga class anytime. I am sure Yogi Desai wouldn’t mind.” Cynthia said in a pissed off caring manner.

 

 

 

“The only yogi I like is the kind with a picnic basket filled with goodies.” Pat said laughing.” You ever think everything isn’t always what it seems to be. I have a-.”

 

” Pat she is just trying to help out. I mean I have been reading studies that indicate modern man has had trouble with weight ever since a constant food supply has been introduced. Man used to gain weight so that he could lose it in the dry season. So when there is no shortage of food he gains and gains. So if you just cut back a little, maybe, it wouldn’t be so bad. We’re just trying to help.” Lewis said this with a straight calm matter. ” I mean really Patrick this is a bit much.”

 

Mary looked at Patrick she hadn’t said a word till now, ” Patrick, it is a bit much. I love you. You are a great kid. But I don’t want you to meet god before me.” Mary started to tear. A slow stream began to trickle like gravy onto her mashed potatoes. ” You were so thin and so athletic, and in 4 years look at you now. What happened?”

 

Patrick sat there looking enraged. ” I have my reasons and you should leave it at that. I am not some simpleton who doesn’t know his consequences. It will all make sense to you. It’s in motion.”

 

“Patrick stop being so god damn delusional. IN MOTION. The only way you will get this in check is by exercising and meditating, that way you will be able to move on. This isn’t a game and I don’t think getting so fat that you have a heart attack is much of a plan.” Cynthia said.

 

” She’s right, Bro. This isn’t anyway to live. You need to get over it. Get over what happened and your sadness. Food won’t make it better.” Lewis took a breath, ” We live we die and we enjoy in between. That is being human. Granddad had a good life and now is his time to rest.”

 

” Oh Christ, here we go. Are we going to start fighting about this again? Maybe I found the answer. Maybe I solved the riddle and your bullshit rules don’t apply anymore.” Patrick said as he shoved a bunch of mashed potatoes in his mouth forcefully.

 

” Patrick he is in a better place now, he was of sound mind he is allowed to move on, be with the Brahman.” Cynthia said as if she was a televangelist.

 

” That yogi fucked you up real good didn’t he.” Patrick said snidely.

 

“Anyway Patrick, she is just trying to help. I mean he is where he is now. He isn’t with us. He isn’t conscious any longer. His senses are gone and so is his mind, but he manipulated the world, made his mark, keep that sacred and move on.” Lewis said.

 

Mary was crying. She wanted a nice meal but knew this was the only way she could save her child. She raised her hand to her chest and rubbed hear necklace and began saying the lords prayer.

 

Pat held his tongue the rest of the meal. He just continued to shove food down his throat like a human garbage disposal.

 

The turkey was stripped clean of all meat in a bought 20 minutes. You would imagine a zebra’s carcass looking like this after the hyenas scavenged a lion’s kill. They all sat in silence.

 

Mary stood up and began to clear the plates. Cynthia, Lewis, and Pat just stared at each other.

 

“I am going to hit the head.” Pat said. He slowly got up and made his way to the steps. His calves burned in agony as he ascended each step. The air got thinner and his lungs felt like they were giving. It was like watching a whale that sprouted two toothpicks out of his rear and tried to walk, like some demented evolution film.

 

Patrick was determined and finally made it into the upstairs bathroom. He quickly sat down on the toilet, which started to bend under the intense pressure. He wiggled and gyrated his rear until the bowl felt just right.

 

Three years earlier Patrick had spent all his time studying the great texts to find the answer. He read the Bhagavad-gita, the torah, book of Tao, the bible, and many more. His understanding was that a common thread must tie them all together. A single thread must be untangled so that they could all be reunited, so that the puzzle will be solved. The general population believes life is too complicated but we must cut that with Occam’s razor, it is the simplicity that we cannot grasp. If your nose is too high you can’t smell an aroma right beneath it.

 

Patrick came to the conclusion that religions grow simpler as time goes on. But in order to combat simplicity we add rule after rule. Patrick found the thread, he saw through the rules. Jesus visited a Buddhist temple for Christ’s sake. The book was banned but just this little tidbit made it make sense. It is all synthesized.

 

Patrick learned that the soul must be whole in order to ascend and not be reincarnated. A violent death would mean that he would not be whole and be forced into another body. If he just waited to die then he would be judged upon his death. But if he were able to leak his spirit and remain alive for an instant he would be able to bring the end, to reunite the world by breaking the rules.

 

 

 

This is why Patrick sits on a toilet in his mothers house 3 years after he found the truth. Patrick begins to push to make sure that he is in fact constipated. He then places a large amount of toilet paper to seal his rectum tight and create a secondary measure. He could feel a large movement rush through his system, it burned like Sherman’s march of fire towards the sea all the way down his intestine, but the movement would not get through nearly a whole roll of paper was lodged in there. He closed the window and curtains that hung near the toilet. He lit up a cigarette that would raise his blood pressure. The room slowly began to fill with smoke.

 

His innards felt like a crock-pot growing more and more pressurized. He could hear his family below talking about him, which only raised his blood pressure more. He gave one last push with his sphincter. Blood and smoke began to ooze from his side. He popped. He felt like he was slowly slipping down a mountainside. He could see some of himself above him. He had popped. Slowly the sunshine got darker and darker. He thought he heard thunder in the distance. The bathrooms slowly began to get dark from the top and ate its way down. It was being eaten by the void. Patrick smiled.