Could This Be The Start of The Unstoppable Force?

Val “Why you’re right on time.” Eyes the alert visitor on the other side of the screen door.

Karl “I’m always on time. I believe in keeping to schedules and commitments.”

Val “Come on in.” Opens the door and steps aside to allow his entrance. Gets a whiff of what he has on. “What’s that cologne? I don’t believe I’ve smelled that before.”

Karl “It’s Pinaud Clubman. I use it as an aftershave, hair tonic, deodorant, and when I get a cut, I pour it right into the fresh wound. It does a real good job.”

Val Drawing her head back, “No wonder I smell it.” Turns away from his look, “Anyway, can I get you something to drink?”

Karl “It will have to be quick. I made reservations at Mitch’s for 25 minutes from now and it takes 15 minutes to get there from here.”

Val “Mitch’s? You’re taking me to that dump? Is this your way of impressing me? I can’t believe they even take reservations.”

Karl “Lady, you don’t know what you’re talking about. They have excellent sandwich platters and the best selection of draft beer anywhere around here.”

Val Hands on hips, “You’ve got to be kidding me.” Hands thrust to her sides, “ Look at me. I got dressed up. And for what? To go to that dive?”

Karl Takes in her blonde hair, that must have been done this afternoon, and the coordinated knee length skirt and v-neck blouse that supports a double necklace of charms and names. She has six rings on, three on each hand, her left ankle bracelet rides above black high heels, her lipstick matches her fingernails and toenails and he can smell her perfume from a pace and a half. “You can wear that to Mitch’s.”

Val “Yea sure and stick out like a sore thumb.” Does her own inspection. “What you got on will fit right in there. How old is that jacket? Don’t you think the sleeves are worn through yet and the moth’s have eaten enough of it?” Pointing to his legs, “Is that a patch on your knee? Where did you get those shoes? Goodwill? Are you for real?”

Karl Eyeing her sharply, “I’m as real as the wind!” Still eyeing her, but not as intently, “Why would I discard something when it still has plenty of use left? That would be immensely wasteful. They made a mistake in the Ten Commandments; wasting is right up there with Thou shall not steal.” Extends bent right arm forward with index finger pointed up.

Val “Alright Moses, answer this question: why would I want to be seen with you?”

Karl Smiling. “Because you’re not going to get a better deal than me.”

Val With her own smile, “Aren’t you the funny one.” With the smile gone, “Let me tell you something buster, I can get any man I want. There’s a lot of guys around here that would like to go out with me.”

Karl “So why aren’t you going out with them? There must be a reason, just like there’s a reason why you’re here with me.”

Val Shaking her head, “ And I’m seriously questioning that reason right now.”

Karl “Well while you’re questioning yourself, let me call Mitch’s and ask them if they can hold our reservation for another half hour.” He takes out his cell phone.

Val “Don’t bother doing that. You don’t think I’m going down there?”

Karl “Suit yourself. Then I’ll call an cancel the reservation.” Calls the number and she walks over to a nearby chair and sits down.

Mitch “Hello, Mitch’s Bar and Grill.”

Karl “I had a reservation for 7 o’clock tonight. My problem is I have a disagreeable woman who refuses to eat there, so I’ll have to cancel my reservation. If you turned away any customers because you were holding my table, I’ll be glad to pay you for two dinners.”

Mitch “That won’t be necessary. We’re not that busy tonight.”

Karl “I appreciate that sir. Let me work on this woman and get her to join me at your place soon.”

Mitch “Good luck with the disagreeable woman.”

Karl “I’m sure I’ll be able to handle her. Goodbye.” Ends the call and puts the phone back in his pants pocket. Turns to her. “ So then, what will it be?”

Val Looks at him and shakes her head for a good four or five shakes. “You’re a real piece of work.”

Karl “Like you’re not?”

Val Gets up and walks toward the kitchen. “I know one thing, I need a drink.”

Karl “Well then, I’ll take that drink you offered.”

Val Just before leaving the room and not bothering to turn, “All I have is Lite beer.”

Karl Talking loudly so she can hear him in the next room, “That’s not my usual brand but I’ll drain the can if you bring it.” Sits down on the couch and waits for her return.

Val “I don’t have cans.” Hands him a bottle. Then takes her mixed drink and sits in the chair.

Karl “Dinner? What are we going to do about that?”

Val Takes a long drink from her glass. “I don’t know what I feel like? How about a nice place?”

Karl “We could go to the diner.”

Val Once again shaking her head, “Are you trying to be a smartass? You know damn well I work there. You call that a nice place or are you trying to play stupid?”

Karl “What’s wrong with the diner? They got meatloaf and great pies.”

Val “You know what, let’s just get a pizza delivered from Pavarotti’s.”

Karl “If that’s what you want, then its fine with me.” Reaches for his beer, “Do you have any more beer?”

Val “I’ve got plenty.”

Karl “What do you call plenty?”

Val “I have a six pack.”

Karl “That’s not plenty. Why don’t I get another six pack and pick up the pizza while I’m out?”

Val “Its plenty enough.”

Karl Shakes his head. “Can I have another beer?” Holds the bottle up.

Val “Do I look like your servant? This ain’t the diner. Go out to the refrigerator and get your own.” As he gets up, “What do you want on the pizza? I’ll call it in.”

Karl Facing her half way to the kitchen, “I like limburger and liverwurst.”

Val “Say what? Not with this girl. How about pepperoni and green peppers?”

Karl “I suppose I can go along with that.” Continues to the kitchen, gets a beer and returns.

Val Completes pizza order and turns to him, “There’re real busy, the pizza won’t be here for an hour.” Gets up with her glass.

Karl “What are you drinking?”

Val “Seven and seven.” Leaves for the kitchen.

Karl After waiting for a period, enters kitchen while she’s just taking the first swallow of her drink. “I’m ready for another one.” Opens the refrigerator door, takes a bottle and positions himself directly in front of her. “What do you want to do for the next hour?”

Val Looking at his eyes that are looking at her, “How about we have a drink and relax.” Takes a step away from his hand to her shoulder. “You keep that up and you’ll get a good, swift kick in the balls.”

Karl Smiling. “You must be sadly mistaken if you thought the slight contact was anything along the lines of where your mind apparently resides. It was merely an affirmation of your desire to relax.” Follows her back to the sitting room.

Val “I’m not sure this is going to work out.”

Karl “Neither am I. And there’s only one way to find out and that’s to get more information. We have important issues to address.”

Val Sets her drink down. “Like what?”

Karl For example, giving and taking instructions. A productive banter needs to be established in order to determine who’s instruction is followed and when. As you saw this evening I exhibited ample willingness to give in and compromise. I can assure you it will not always be like this. Most times it will take a most determined effort to turn me around. You will not…”

Val Interrupts him, “Are you crazy or something? Look why don’t you just leave right now.”

Karl “If that’s what you really want, fine. But I don’t think that’s what you want.”

Val Gets up. “Please go. I’ve had all I can take of you for one night.” Points to the door. “It’s what I really want.”

Karl “If you insist. We can pick up where we left off tonight the next time.”

Val Grabs him by the shirt. “The next time? Get the hell out of here right now.”

Karl Walks towards the door. “What about the pizza?”

Val “Don’t worry, I’ll eat it.”

Karl “What will you do with all that pizza?”

Val “There’s plenty of room in the refrigerator. Now go!”

Karl Opens the door and turns towards her, “Well I guess I can eat at Mitch’s after all.”

Val “That’s right, you can do whatever you want now. Goodbye.”

Karl On the porch, through the closed screen door, “ See you Wednesday. I thought I’d have you over to my place. It’d be good for you to see it.”

Val Two steps closer to the door, “ Are you serious?”

Karl With nose to the screen, “As a heart attack.”