Brett

The words you see before were penned by another, because if you were to witness the sheer power of Brett’s own life from Brett himself your face would melt off like the all those Nazi’s at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark. Yes, Brett. He only needs one name to introduce himself. He was climbing Mt. McKinley when he was attacked by a bald eagle. Laughing, Brett punched that eagle in the balls. Humbled, that bird is now his loyal companion. He can tear a phone book in half with his bare hands, and then fuse the pages together with the power of his mind. He singlehandedly stopped the Zombie Apocalypse of 2002. Brett sleeps only 45 minutes every night. Brett taught Yoda everything he knows. Brett held the world championship in the International Shark Rodeo Federation for six straight years until they required the competitors wear a cowardly chainmail suit, and Brett quit in disgust. He designed the Great Pyramids at Giza, and without his involvement they would have only been so-so. Brett created the internet, but he allowed Al Gore to take all the credit. He was named MVP of Super Bowl I and Super Bowl II. He’s got a world class caliber rose garden in his backyard. Brett’s heart only needs to beat four times a minute. Brett invented Brazilian ju-jitsu. He will make nuclear fusion technology possible in early fall of 2008. His role as Dr. Hannibal Lecter in the film Silence of the Lambs won him the Best Actor Oscar award in 1991. His influence can be seen in the ethereal beauty of Chinese pottery from the Tang dynasty. Brett discovered the existence of black holes by taking a walking up to the event horizon of the one and taking a nap. Brett wrote every single story on this website
Chuck Norris-like hyperbole. Or it would be, if it weren’t all true.