Dan

Dan was born with pen in his hand and his mother wasn’t happy about it. “ As if squirting a kid out isn’t bad enough, he had to have a sharp object.” She would go on to tell her family and friends, “to tell you the truth I was more weirded out by the black book in the other hand.”

Dan would go on to use that little black book to compose the greatest list of conquests known to man. In his great memoir, “The Wrinkled Elephant Chronicles” Dan goes on to say that “Great writers aren’t made with pen and paper, they are made with beds and sheets.” With this philosophy, Dan was able to graduate high school without ever taking a test. He would later go to college, easily graduating with a degree in writing ( magna cum laude, of course). After college, he decided to spend a semester in Amsterdam working off his student loans. When in Amsterdam he worked at a little café serving one table in front of a large glass window.

When he returned to the U.S. he would go on to say that Amsterdam is where his writing skills really began to take form. He went on to accept a job at Harper Collins. Former colleague Jon Bolbous, later went on to say, “ Dan climbed the latter at a rate that Paris Hilton would be jealous of.” After three months, he was at the side of the president of Harpers-Collins. It was at this point that he received his amazing 3 million dollar advance.

Dan’s writing has gone on to be seen as some of the most popular of recent times. He is well known for being great with all his fans. At book signing he is not afraid to give a hug, sign a chest, or even take people on personal tours of his workspace. So we encourage you to send fan mail with your name, number, address, measurements, and likes and dislikes, Dan answers all fan mail personally, so expect a response in a timely matter.